opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
