shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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