I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize