this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
