pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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