I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize