David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
