and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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