8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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