we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm bleeding and have questions
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
