Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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