i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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