I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
