He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
