Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
