am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize