why didn't you poke me back
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
