Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
