I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
