I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize