Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
