Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
