My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just tell him i said nine months
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
