What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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