Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
