It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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