Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
