is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
