Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
