I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
