We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
