I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
