you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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