..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
