would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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