We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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