I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
