i wish my penis had a tongue
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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