I cannot find my penis.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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