it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
accomplished twins. life is a go
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize