this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
