You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
