in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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