quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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