just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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