just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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