Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
