My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm having to shit out rocks
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