P.S. I can't hear my feet
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
