Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize