Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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