i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
