you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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