At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
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