he shaved USA in his pubs
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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