But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
