Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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