Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
