A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize