I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
operation harelip BJ is a go
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
