Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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