I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
