i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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