Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
