guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
