i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize