Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
