I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize