I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
