Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
