Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
