do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
