turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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