She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
