i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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