don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
